Why can’t I have sex before marriage?

by - Thursday, March 02, 2017

Hey Beauties! So this has been on my heart for a while. I watched a video about the fact that the Bible does not explicitly say that you should not have sex before marriage… well it does! But, people often twist it because of different translations and languages used. So, I wanted to break it down a bit.

In the beginning God created man in His image. He fell asleep and a woman was created, His wife.

Genesis 2:24-25 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

So from the beginning, this was the standard. A man is created and his wife joins him as a life partner, to do life together as it were. That is why the analogy is used when we Beauties are single, “My Adam is sleeping”. God is forming him to be ready for marriage.

Genesis 2:18 It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Do you notice above the mention of being naked and not ashamed? Now I do not know about you but I have fornicated in the past and have just not felt right about it. I may have been shameless in some ways but when I really think about it, it is always a slap in the face that the man I was with was not my husband. The body was not made for fornication, which is why it always has adverse effects when not done God’s way.

Looking at the old testament, there are several instances where sexual immorality occurred. Everything that is going on in the world now is all in the Bible. From rape, to incest, to adultery, fornication, homosexuality – you name it, its all there. I will let you do your research on that. The point I am trying to make is that it does not make it right. We have to always remember the beginning – how God intended. Man and woman, simple. Let us not complicate things.

Judges 19:22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, "Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.”

When the Bible speaks about sex that is honourable to God, it links to marriage. This is detailed in the scripture below.

1 Corinthians 7 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

I have noticed that many twist the word to suit themselves. Many translate the above verse to mean that sleeping around is not good, so the solution is to get with one man and play house with him. You often hear, “We are engaged anyway, so why not have sex?”, “I cannot find a man that will be celibate with me”, “He loves me” etc. But if we are really honest with ourselves, there are adverse effects that come with fornication.

·      We become emotionally tied to the person
·      We make poor decisions of character based on being blinded by “good sex”
·      Often distracted by the sex, we do not take into consideration God’s word, or his tugging on our spirit to leave the person, because we feel we are already in too deep
·      Unwanted/unplanned pregnancy
·      A number of diseases
·      Waiting years and pretty much begging for marriage, running the risk of being dumped – why not know from the start that marriage is what you both want and work on it?
·      Because we are doing things in the wrong way, respect for one another can be lost along the way

Sex is only safe in marriage, as this was the way it God intended. There are people out there that believe this and will treat you with the respect you deserve.

I believe that one of the biggest mistakes we can make in life is marrying the wrong person. If we are blinded by sex and are weakened emotionally, we can run risk of making huge mistakes. Staying celibate and getting to know the person without being physical will be rewarding. You will discuss what you both want and build a friendship with the strong foundation that is Jesus Christ. God will never advise you to have sex before marriage, His ways are not our ways.

Remember – we are called to be Holy. We are called to be like Jesus. Did Jesus sleep around or fornicate? Of course not. Let us focus on the right things and let the Holy Spirit burn like fire inside of us.

Fornication - sexual intercourse between people not married to each other.

The question should not be “why cant I have sex before marriage” but rather, there should be reflections on, “How will it bring me closer to God and His will for my life?”. We can do whatever we like as God gave us free will, but not all things are edifying.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”[a] 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.[b]
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

I advise you to get to know the person, seek GOD FIRST and speak to wise counsel. I went to a singles conference last year and have attached below some useful questions to ask whilst courting. Hope this helps! God bless x

You May Also Like


  1. Amen!I have heard preachers mentioned if the world honoured the 7th commandment "thou shall not commit adultery" (exodus 20:14) there would be no sexual immorality in the world!

    Thanks for sharing dear😊

  2. Where there is no conviction; there was no conversion.

  3. I just wanna say thanks for the writer and wish you all the best for coming!
    cialis kaufen