Ex Model, "Beauty Comes From Within"
I have always loved the camera and still do. I took great pleasure
in my modelling days and building my portfolio. I made sure I was working with
the right people i.e. those photographers with brilliant portfolios and great
editing skills and mingled with those in the industry.
My parents always told me not to do glamour modelling, or anything
too immodest so I listened. I knew that was where the money was at (including
fashion) but I had no desire to strip to get known. I have seen some models who
were modelling at the time that I was, that have now become Christians.
Unfortunately, all you need to do is to Google image their name and those
degrading pictures come up. So I am really grateful that I did not go down that
route.
I also saw some models that started out with the mentality that I
had, as time went on the clothes became less and less. This was down to trying
to impress and become more noticeable.
As time went on I noticed my career as a model was not progressing.
Mind you, I was doing this whilst at university and definitely spent more money
than I earned. I was not getting paid how I would have liked to and some of it
was just a waste of time. I spent a lot of money on a website, I went to some
video shoots and spent a whole day there; sometimes the video did not even get
released; if it did I hardly saw myself in it. I began to pray in around my
early 20s on this. I asked God if he really
wanted me to do this, I was desperate to know whether this was God’s plan
for my life and I desperately searched the Bible to see if I was doing
something wrong. There is nothing wrong with taking pictures of course but what
was my intention behind it?
First of all, I really enjoyed taking pictures. I came to the
conclusion that I did not have to model in order to enjoy taking pictures; I
could simply enjoy taking pictures! Secondly, I felt that I was seeking
approval from people in the industry to work with me or to make my portfolio
amazing to get noticed. It was more about pleasing/impressing people and I noticed
that this was all meaningless.
[Galatians 1:10] Am I now
trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please
people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of
Christ.
I was struggling to understand my style in modelling and was trying
new things. I initially thought of myself as a fashion model. Although I was
slim, I wasn’t skinny or tall enough. Then I got into beauty modelling which
focuses on the face. That was great, but I couldn’t seem to get much work from
that.
Vanity was another big issue. It was like I was in competition with
other models and I was just vain and conceited, thinking my outside appearance
would get me anywhere when I was broken within. Jesus makes it very clear that
beauty starts from within:
[1 Peter 3-4] Your beauty
should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the
wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your
inner self, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
Just to clarify, this does not mean that we are not allowed to
adorn ourselves as onto the Lord. But as long as our beauty starts from within
the heart, no matter what we wear, that beauty will be present. So it is important
that we understand this and continue to work on our characters consistently.
It wasn’t all bad though. I was able to come out of my shell and
express myself through pictures, I was able to be artistic and come up with
different themes for my pictures. And its all good now, because I can do all
those things better with my You Tube channel. I have a camera professional
enough to make that happen. I was also left with many beautiful pictures as you
can see.
The below video was released on TV. I was happy and excited and
felt that I had achieved something. Well I guess I had in a sense but it was
not everything. They showed my face a fair amount of times as you will see.
Some of the models there were very catty and jealous. Some of us overheard some
of the things they were saying; pretty much looking down on us. The singer was
very lustful, just the type that I would not want to be left alone in a room
with. So to be honest, I realised around the age of 22, that this was not the
type of environment that I want to be in. I knew that these personalities would
not help me in my Christian walk, because it was all about them which takes the
attention to what we really should be focused on, the Cross.
So, my passion to model started in my early teens as many told me
that I had what it takes. I started modelling around the age of 18 and ended it
at 22. I have noted a few things:
·
Many businesses find it hard
to pay models and expect them to be grateful that they are getting a free
picture. After a while, it is only fair that one is compensated for their work.
·
Many see models as objects,
desperate to find work or be seen in a music video.
·
Many modelling agencies will
exploit your passion for modelling and make it a business for themselves.
·
Seek Jesus in all that you
do, if you are not at peace with it then don’t do it!
·
I have met many professional
make up artists, models and photographers that I am glad to have met and learnt
something from.
·
People will take advantage if
they can so shine your eyes and be ready.
I hope this inspires someone. God bless.
Rosemary <3
2 comments
Great story! Thanks for sharing. I pray this will make many think before entering such an industry!
ReplyDeleteThanks sis :)
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