Engaged at 18 To a Muslim - My Testimony

by - Saturday, August 15, 2015

Between family issues and seeking the attention that I could not get at home, I used to go clubbing a lot. Attention from males was my weakness. Now the Holy Spirit dwells within me and has cleansed me to do the right thing.

So I met this man at the club and he eventually became my fiancé. I was 17. I was so into being with someone, that I just allowed anyone in without consulting God. What did I know about the seriousness of what I was doing anyway? Well I knew something about it was not right, but the urge to feel wanted mattered more. Of course if I knew what I did now, I would not have.

I share this experience with you because I know it will help someone and I genuinely feel led to. I was so broken that I did not even understand my brokenness; so being in a relationship with someone about eight years older than me was the way forward. The main issue within my household was that my parents were having conflict issues in their marriage and nothing was explained to any of us. This led to my dad moving out, but still seeing us a lot and providing financially. Because they carried on as ‘normal’ and did not have much to say to answer my questions, I was confused and encouraged to go along with it. I was told to lie to those around me that all was well all in the name of ‘It is no one’s business’.

This is not me being bitter about it, because I love my parents and always will. We have all settled our differences and understand that in every family, there are issues. It is only the grace of God that keeps people together. Because there is a root to every problem; I am sharing mine.

I learnt a lot from that relationship, but obviously not enough to keep me from going from boyfriend to boyfriend. The main message for any young ladies that may be reading is to focus on the cross, Jesus. He is the only one that will fill any empty void.

None of the relationships I had been in were real because they did not have Christ in them. Full of fornication, intoxication and fooling each other that we were in love. It’s all lust lovely, nothing else. A man that cannot wait to have sex until marriage does not love or respect you. No one can know true love, if they do not know the author of it, Jesus. Turns out that he was planning to marry another woman from his country behind my back to make me his second wife. He was a Muslim that picked and chose what part of his religion he wanted to practice.

Even though I was lukewarm, I still knew Jesus. I am thankful that I had been raised to know Him. I began to pray my way out of this hole that I put myself in and God was slowly lifting me out and revealing all to me. It is amazing that even when we step out of His will, He still loves us and welcomes us back with open and loving arms. Especially when we are at our most vulnerable. So never think that you are too dirty for God. Because humans can reject you for any reason, but Jesus never will.

Even though we were engaged, I knew deep down that it would not work and that I could never really marry this dishonest man. I guess I liked the attention. It took me about 3 years to really heal from that relationship. I see now that it is because I did not truly let go and let God. If I spent time reminiscing on him and the things that we used to do, I was calling that demonic spirit of fornication and lies back into my life. No wonder it took him ages to leave me alone. As soon as I cast down the thought and did not entertain the memory of our jaded relationship in my head, he fled from me.

[James 4:7] Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

What I went through with him did not help the low self esteem that I faced. I felt used because all he was really with me for was for what he could gain. I see that he was looking for someone to marry so that he could have stay in this country. And the worst part of it was that he did not know Jesus and it was revealed that he was practicing witchcraft. So if I did not leave him, I could have lost my life. But God forbid bad thing!!! God has a plan for my life and it just was not that.

[Jeremiah 1:5] Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

What people do not know is that I was unexplainably ill when I was with him. I would get back pains for no reason and other weird symptoms. When I would go to the doctor they would never know what was wrong. It was only when I cried out to the Lord, left him and started taking my life seriously that I became healed. That is one of my biggest testimonies. I really saw the change in my life once he was out of it. He even confessed that the woman he planned to marry knew he was with me; he would not put it past her that she would be spiritually attacking me.

So ladies, be careful not to let strange spirits into your life, whether through soul ties that can occur through fornication, eating food offered to you by them or emotions. The more you spend time in His presence is the more you will hear the Holy Spirit telling you NO. I could not shake that soul tie off for about 3 years and part of the reason was because I did not even know what a soul tie was. All this time I could have been using to dedicate to God. All I know was that emotionally, he manipulated me to feel bad for leaving him. “Who will make you feel the way I do when we sleep together?”, “When you leave, you will have to rebuild a relationship with someone else, that will take long and why would you want that?”, “I know that I cheated on you, but don’t you love me, wont you fight for me??”, “But are you really going to call that cheating though? I did not even sleep with her!”.

There was a lot of back and forthing once I initially left him, I was weak. It hurt to see that the man that I gave myself to was emailing a strange woman telling her how good I am to him, but he really wants her. The rejection was real and the pain was raw. But at the age of 20 I decided that I wanted to live for Jesus. It has been a bumpy ride since then with a lot of backsliding in this department. But I have made a promise to the Lord and will not go back on my word.

[Ecclesiastes 5:4] When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow.

I am now 25 and have spent the last two years pretty much allowing Jesus to rebuild my heart, become intentional about my walk with Him and not lukewarm, heal from a previous relationship and just being real with myself. It.Is.Not.Worth.It. So if you reading are in an unhealthy relationship that you know you should not be in, make that phonecall, send that text. End it. Nothing/no one is worth getting in the way of you serving Jesus.

You are beautiful, you are worth it, God has someone for you that will show you love like you have never seen before. And believe me, if my husband can show me love and respect to reflect how Jesus feels about me, that is a beautiful thing. You will get your loving husband that loves God more than He will ever love you and who bases his moral on the Bible. But for now, please just focus on your personal relationship with Jesus. Make it your business to put Him first. Not because of what you can gain, but because of what He did for us on the cross and the way He loves us – He is worthy and He loved us first.

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

God bless you ladies. Once you know your worth, you will stand tall like the Queen that you are. You are a Daughter of Jesus and that’s BIG. Once you receive the Holy Spirit you will begin to look more like Him, your confidence will grow and you will no longer give a split second of attention to any time waster. Jesus will strip you of all the things He wants you to change. Forgive all your exes because I know I have. One thing I will say is that no one forced me into any relationship and I knew my right from wrong. So this is never to put down any men from my past, but to share a testimony for God to get all the glory.

I cannot thank you enough Jesus my King and my everything. So I will continue to sing your praises, forevermore.

Rosemary x

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  1. Praise the LORD! That he got you out. These scriptures come to mind!

    Leviticus 24: 10 -16

    2 Corinthians 6:14King James Version (KJV) 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?