Christianity and Your Circle

by - Sunday, November 02, 2014

Hello there Beauties!! Just wanted to share this peace with you about friendships and people. I hope you are having a great day and that you continue to carry your own cross and follow Jesus in your lives [Luke 9:23].

I felt compelled to write about this, feeling like God has been tugging on my heart to. I will most likely have a You Tube video about this topic too. 

So as usual I will just keep it real with you...

As a child I feel like it is common to want to feel a sense of belonging, which is a normal human feeling. But I believe it is more intense at school. The want to be popular or fit in is one that many may have experienced. However, upon growing up and experiencing many of those friendships, acquaintances or companionships falling away, it becomes less and less important to have a crowd of people that call themselves your friends.

I realised that most people will be your friend for convenience. People will promise that they will remain your friend forever, but the reality is when it is not convenient for them anymore it becomes less likely that they will go out of their way. Another common one is when individuals grow apart from each other. Perhaps their interests change and they may not have much to relate to anymore. This is completely normal and just reflects growth, which is a positive thing. 

What is a friend? the definition that comes up in Google is as follows: "A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations". So this suggests that a friendship is one which you share commonalities with someone, which could mean that you may spend time with them doing different things. Pretty straight forward right?

I consider myself to be an introvert to be honest. I have spent many years trying to fight against that and just make friends - putting in whatever effort I could. There is nothing wrong with making friends of course! but I prefer to allow friendships to occur naturally on a two sided basis. But when God says that the time is up for that friendship to pass, I just learnt to obey and let it go. I also found that when it came to making the effort, my hand was more outstretched than the individual. This is not to say I am perfect, because I never will be. But I feel like, if you are the only one making the effort - step back for a bit and watch the friendship slowly dissolve. 

I also realised that there would only be a few people that would be genuine enough to stick around, which is just one of the realities of life. Additionally, I found that with some women that I have come across, there is always some shade waiting to be thrown or jealousy issues. Instead of telling me what I have done to upset them, they would rather ignore me or tell someone else. I have never understood that. Not all females are like this but I have realised it is quite prevalent. I am quite honest, outspoken and blunt; some women like being told things in a particular candy coated way opposite to the latter. Of course it is always nice to be assertive and polite, but sometimes there is no pretty way of saying certain truths. Furthermore, I pretty much get along with males (in a clean way), therefore you will be more likely to see me out and about with one. I just feel that they are more honest and you pretty much know where you stand with them. HOWEVER! some of them gossip like females at times, also if the male starts to think that we can be more than friends then I flee - one has to be careful around the opposite sex to make it clear that it is just friendship and nothing else. There are positives and negatives in every situation! Just remember to be sincere and pray for people. 

It is interesting to hear when people are somewhat afraid to let go of friendships or people that are not drawing them closer to God. The Bible is very clear in what we as Christians should do. So let us read together...

[1 Corinthians 5:9-13] I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”
Above, it is very clear that we should not associate with those that have sex outside of marriage. I will go deeper into this topic soon. However, I know that we cannot always know what a person is doing in their own time behind closed doors, but if you trust in God, He will give you a good spirit of discernment.

I have noticed that people confuse the two - refraining from being around individuals that behave in a particular way with loving people. Sometimes you have to love individuals from a distance and PRAY for them and here is why...  
[1 Corinthians 15:33] 33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Though matter how strong you think you are, remember - without Jesus we are weak. That is why it is highly IMPORTANT to spend time reading the Bible, praying, fasting etc, to fight against the flesh and become the master of it. Our flesh is weak alone without allowing Jesus to pour into us and mould us to how he wants us to be. Give all your cares to Him and let Him be the head of your life. That includes your friends.

You see, not everyone is for you. To love does not mean you have to be around people, or tolerate behaviours that may lead you into sin. Influence is real, the devil is busy. 
[1 Peter 5:8] Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Again, the Bible is very clear about who will enter the Kingdom. Remember it is Jesus that said it and not me - I am simply repeating the Most High's word. 

[1 Corinthians 6:9-11] Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

I pray that we all continue to work on ourselves to ensure that we are none of the above before we start thinking of qualities in friends. Just briefly though, I want to put the spotlight on homosexual offenders as mentioned above. I notice that many people get very emotional over this topic and claim that they cannot just get rid of their friends because they practice the latter. The Bible is clear! allow people to draw you closer to God and not away from Him. He told us what is wrong and right, including how to behave and live our lives. It is bad enough that we are all sinners. But I have noticed that the problem with homosexuality is, that most people claim upon themselves that this is how they are and how they were born. With refusal or lack of faith to allow God to mould them into the way HE really created them. Such demonic generational curses can be broken when one just believes. 

Be careful with what you say, because life and death is in the power of the tongue [Proverbs 18:21]. God is the only one that can change people's hearts and ways. So the best thing you can do for people that lead particular lifestyles that God has condemned, is to pray for them. But openly supporting something that God has made clear that is wrong, is something that I cannot do. 

Most people may not understand or appreciate that Christianity is about a constant fight against the flesh, the world, the devil and any other thing that encourages us to go against what our Father teaches us [Ephesians 6:12]. Our circle that we keep around us is more influential than we know. So just stop and think. The people that you call your friends, are they drawing you closer to God or away? convincing you that a little sin is ok? or reminding you of your past habits? When I started my serious walk in faith I made a firm decision that those from my past that were not uplifting me HAD to go. I made a conscious decision to be very mindful of people including who I spent my time with and what we spoke about. 
Our time on this earth is very precious in the sense that we must take every opportunity to do what is right at all costs. If it means that I will be a loner then so be it. His grace and mercy means more to me than anything in this world. He actually loves and accepts me the way I am. He never changes but people do. So that friendship that does not uplift you, why are you so attached to it? if you truly trust in God, He will provide the people you need in your life at any given time. When the time is up, just trust God and know that He knows what He is doing. It is easier said than done at times, because of the emotions that come along with letting go. That is why I speak passionately about discipleship and discipline. At any given time, do not allow yourself to get too attached to anything. They are things of the world that we will all one day leave behind.

For me, I do not necessarily like using the word friend. This is because I feel that people have their own definitions of it that often vary. When I see people that I get along with, that draw me closer to God, I see them as a brother or sister in Christ. 

So yeah! I do not care or mind if I only have 3 or 2 friends in life, or if I am not liked because of my beliefs. I believe in the Bible and it is in Him that I find comfort in, not people. If you think about it, one way or the other we will always let each other down. But of you are not anchored in Jesus, you will always feel that emptiness in life, like something is missing. Do not shortchange yourself and behave like the King/Queen that you are. Let us keep close watch on all areas of our lives and stay focused.

[2 Thessalonians 3:6] In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers and sisters, to keep away from every believer who is idle and disruptive and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

God bless always. 

You May Also Like


  1. "So that friendship that does not uplift you, why are you so attached to it?" Currently asking myself this. Great post! x